Middle-aged insecure fear of ageing
Middle age is defined as the period of your life after adulthood and before the beginning of old age and the psychological or biological beginning of this stage of our lives might vary from person to person. To give an example, a friend of mine who is forty-three is five months pregnant and another friend of mine who is also forty-three has received a clinical confirmation that she has reached her menopause. So, whilst both of my friends’ fertility capacity varies, it is important to emphasize that they are both overall happy and beautiful women and enjoying their lives. The point I am trying to make is that it doesn’t matter what stage of your life you are in biologically, what matters the most is your personal happiness. What constitutes personal happiness will again vary from person to person, but it is beyond the shadow of a doubt that it is linked to confidence. Unfortunately, I have been noticing in my personal as well as professional life, that far too many middle-aged people don’t seem to be confident about their age. Such people I noticed, lie about their age and this reeks a lack of confidence. So, if you are not confident, how do you expect to have your partner to have confidence in you? I was recently approached by such man on online dating. Given that he was forty-two years old, he not only sounded good but most importantly he also appeared to have been a handsome looking man. I felt excited, we exchanged numbers and I looked forward to having a drink with him and then it occurred to me: ‘I have forgotten to ask him how old his photograph was!’ I quickly tried to put together all information he provided me with and I entered everything into the amazing detective device google search machine and: ‘Voila!’ I felt stunned! I found him on his company’s website and with an up-to-date photograph and he would not fool his business clients, would he? This person knew exactly what he was doing. His photograph looked nothing like his online dating profile. In fact, his online dating profile photograph was evidently over twenty years at least out of date! I quickly cancelled the date and explained why. He attacked me calling me superficial and so I threw this back at him, saying that it was him who was superficial because he was not accepting of himself and instead used a photograph that did not look like him in the least. He pleaded desperately to give him a chance and meet him and I of course repeatedly refused. Although I felt temporarily deceived, I felt relieved that I had managed to save my precious time for something more constructive to do. I also wondered how far will some middle-aged people go and could end up ridiculing themselves and ultimately isolating themselves, in order to get that date with a person they dream of? Stop dreaming, find yourself and start accepting yourselves for who you really are and start developing meaningful and rewarding relationships, instead of playing games, and setting yourselves up for more disappointments and personal failures and more loneliness. The example of my date lying about his appearance and age, is an example of how many people who are middle-aged behave, clearly lacking a confidence but who are grown-up, middle-aged and expected to be exactly the opposite. And the moral of the story?
Try to stop dreaming and instead accept yourself for who you are and portray this to the real world and you will get more likely responses from your counterparts and some dates, and maybe even love as opposed to lonely middle-aged nights in and alone. Try to consider doing some cost benefit-analysis of how you live your life and how much time you might have left and then long-term outcomes of your lies. If you cannot accept who you are, be prepared that people may not accept your lies and will reject you and you might end up one day being alone and with regrets. Alternatively, try to consider working on yourself and your confidence and if you need any help with developing your confidence and would like to schedule a session with me, contact me directly and I will be more than happy to support you and help you unlock a more rewarding future dating and personal life. Happy online dates fishing and with healthy confidence, see you soon! Leona. Mobile. 07 505 124 933.